Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.
Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?
HOMER: "Marge, it takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen"
HOMER TO BART: "Everyone dies, son. You might end up dead tomorrow! Well, Goodnight."
Superintendent Chalmers: "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school! God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion!
(apologies to all religions)
MARGE: "I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food. I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are."
HOMER: "Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."
HOMER: "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love."
HOMER TO GREEN ALIENS: "Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them."
BART: "There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the boogeyman or Michael Jackson."
HOMER: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down"
RALPH: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.
HOMER: I've got two questions. One, where's the fife? And two, gimme the fife.
BURNS: I specifically said no nerds!
MILHOUSE: But my mom says I'm cool!
HOMER: "You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing??"
HOMER TO BART: Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and ... um ... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
MARGE: Hi, I like to purchase a cup for my son.
MAN CASHIER: You wanna what?
MARGE: A cup.
MAN CASHIER: Can you spell that for me?
MARGE: C-U-P! I wanna C (see) U (you) P (pee)!
MAN CASHIER:
BB
Librarian 2008.
Beyond Bitchy.
BB & OJF - you heard it
here first.
CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM HER HOUSE.
Homer (on the phone): You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.
Homer (upon hearing Apu singing on his roof): He lied to us through song! I HATE when people do that!
Homer: You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
Homer: Marge, don't buy any movies while you're here in England...because they won't work in our VCR! (cries)
Did any of you see the episode where Springfield roasted Homer? Skinner's mother came out in Jen's green Versace dress much to my surprise, lol. Lisa leans over to Homer and asks, "What is keeping that dress on?!" to which Homer replies, "The collective will of everyone in this room."
Quote:Did any of you see the episode where Springfield roasted Homer? Skinner's mother came out in Jen's green Versace dress much to my surprise, lol. Lisa leans over to Homer and asks, "What is keeping that dress on?!" to which Homer replies, "The collective will of everyone in this room."
i remember that! i was trying to remember where i heard it, but the simpson's never crossed my mind lol
the funniest thing (to me) from the simpsons is when.. Springfeild needed summin exiting So the town would be noticed, and Marge suggested they should do a film festival.. anyways. Mr burns was making auditions for sum one to play his part.. so a lot of guys come on saying excellent.. then it was Homers audition.. he came on saying exactly doesnt that just crack you up?
@ the syrup one. I love The Simpsons 
